my fears

Sun may never rise
Moon may not even shine
Darkness couldn't hope for a little spotlight
And Loved one could not even kiss u goodbye..

Isn't it a wonder
Why am i still alive?
Still taking little courage
your own weapon as day passes by

Even if grand moments makes the difference
Still u wonder what's next after this
Life seems to get vulnerable
Yet u just can't quit even if you're tired
from claiming the beauty of life

Fear in life is what I got used to
Coz simply, life will keep me going
N when life is there, fear's haunting
Coz u can't have all the pieces together,
There will always be a part of the puzzle that won't fit.

(Sigh) However i just cldnt surrender what life can bring
just cldnt stop the thought of fear
It resides in one part of my heart
Where u will see all the fight I've been to

Imagine more than half of my fight
Is full of fear
Fear to lose
Fear to survive the battle of life

Wonder why I'm still in this fight
When it seems like im in the
Verge of surrendering..
to end life so i can end my fears..

when surrendering becomes the only
choice, a SAVIOUR will never fail to cease you.
will never fail to enlighten
will never fail to exist

Yes! the love of my creator
The one who has given me the free will
To be courageous n even fearful
The one who has all the reason of letting
Me feel the bitter sweet of life





Fear of the lord..
the kind of fear
That haunts you with love n devotion
Life w fear yet for your salvation

Fear that breaks you free
From worries what life can bring
Fear we used to ignore
it simply weakens our hearts

Still, life and fear goes hand in hand
But it becomes the fear that let me live
w happiness in my heart
Its purpose is noble n just for my weakened heart
So What could be more fearful on this life on earth,
When you know you have been given the chance to
fear for the lord!
Honoring his mighty words for the continuance of life

Now my fears will conquer
Conquer my love for the lord
in this fight I may fear at times
But ur sovereign power will hear my cry

A secret which everyone ignores
But I will rise up
Now i can surrender, surrender in His words.
never be fearful from fears of life alone
My love of God will bring forth my fear to him



No more I feel alone in the battle u may give me
A call to persevere.. to win
Because of my love,
Because of my fear not to see u.. not to even feel u.

Alleluia! Great is our God
My love in life and fears will work on to fulfill my faith to reunite with you
To feel u n finally surrender to the promise of an everlasting life w u!

Glory to God in the highest!

Thank u jesus!!

not a creator of my life

It took 3 weeks for me to write on my blog again. Since my
Husband arrived in manila, we've been busy in our 2nd honeymoon
In boracay, aklan and seeing friends n loved ones. Then finally,
A week ago, we have arrived here in gloucester, england..

Its been a humbling experience and giving back the glory to. God
is just not enough for me to say thank you.

Exactly a year ago, I never imagined this kind of life I have right
now. I was broken, darkened fr all the Hurts n pains.. I was questioning His love.
Then I realized I was staring to a crucifix and
Asked him, " I see now, so its all up to u!",
So I thought I need to live it all to Him..
But honestly, until that confrontation w jesus, it took me
Me sometime to realize the he was really workin in my life then
Coz I was still Stubborn n feeling I could drive my own life..

Up to that moment, I just let him rule my life..


Then here I am now, still struggling to live but a big leap of faith
has given me strength to any pain n hurt that life on earth can offer..
I'm not the creator of my life! Never I was.. Never will be..
A more powerful creator has given me enough courage to feel this..
Its everything I want. God to rule my life..

W a husband now, a simple life and a faithful God I don't think I can
Beat any achievement I've ever had in my life..
As I've experience moments of success in my life, there's no other material things
or success in career can equal that..
And by his loving grace n mercy, my samuel will arrive soon.

All glory to God alone!

my husband is finally coming home..

sooo excited to see my husband again!! Robert is finally coming back home to manila tomorrow afternoon at 1850hrs manila time..(MANILA will always be considered as our HOME even if we are going to live in England).. so to see him after 6 long months is such a blessing.. it was hard yet it was pure blessing because GOD has even strengthen our faith in our marriage..(he needed to leave me in manila so i could work on my settlement-UK visa and he needed to go back to work in UK) so, after our wedding, tomorrow is the actual day to finally start our marriage life together and never be (physically) separated from each other again..

during that 6 long months, it wasn't hard as I thought it should be.. so i offer a simple prayer for the LORD..

Father God, truly you are amazing.. we are privilege to have your presence in our marriage still we humbly ask for your love, courage, wisdom, faithfulness and all the spiritual blessings we need to have you as the center of our marriage life.. we would like to give you the praise and worship for making it all possible for us to be together again and seriously start our marriage.. most important of all, we can finally give praise and worship together.. we offer this love by serving you faithfully and sincerely.. i humbly ask that you bring my husband back home safe here in manila and later on, with your help, Father God, we can accomplish all the necessary things we need to do before our flight back to UK.. and by your powerful grace and loving mercy, we await for the coming of a little gift from you, SAMUEL.. WE ASK THIS THRU THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST.. AMEN..


TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!

3 FATHERs

i must be so lucky having 3 fathers: one, who biologically helped my mom to bring me in this world; two, who financially provided for my education and molded me as a good stable person; and three, who has given me both (even more) - literally brought me to life and molded me to become a BETTER person and SUSTAIN my everyday needs in this life..

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the 3 of you..
My real father (1),
My step father (2),
and FATHER GOD(3)..

words cannot describe my deepest gratitude for making my life complete.. for making me who i am now.. for bringing out the best of me.. and finally fulfilling my purpose in life..

as i surrender my life to the one who has given me, i have forgiven what you have failed to provide.. and hoping you have forgiven my failures too.. my LOVE for all of you are enough to cover the flaws of my life.. knowing your hands are always open to support my downfall, makes me feel complete.

i love everything about you.. TATAY, DADDY, and FATHER GOD.. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY and thank you for the unconditional love you have given me.

and


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my loving husband ROBERT.. I LOVE YOU TOO and i continue to praise GOD because of your presence in my life.. you are a loving father to your children and as we await for the coming of our own child, i thank you for being a TRUE GIFT from ABOVE..

Deuteronomy 1:29-31
Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." (NIV)

Psalm 103:13
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; (NIV)

TIME He has given us.. TIME He will also take away from us..

i never knew how precious time was until i became a faithful servant of JESUS CHRIST. if i remember right, i was still a child when i heard about one of the famous sayings you can write in a 'SLUM BOOK', TIME IS GOLD.

rationally, it actually makes a lot of sense.. it applies to your career, relationships or even hobbies or anything that relates to your everyday life.. getting productive and own accomplishment manifest that we have spend our Time successfully. Indeed its as precious as Gold, because any minute, day, week or a year wasted will never come back.. however it also gives us HOPE to see our future ahead, the time wasted is completely behind us and never it will come back to regain its glory..

when you are one with the Lord.. i mean, reeaaally seek His Righteousness to be pure in thoughts and loving in words.. Holy is the HOly Spirit who will make you understand the meaning of Life..

being a TRUE follower helps you realize that LIFE is not bad at all.. some people or believers consider life as successful if they reached the time of their life when they get accepted by the society or their friends as someone they wanted to be accepted.. A doctor is successful taking his TIME studying and living a productive life as friends or society accepted him to be a famous doctor.. is that a life? or a beggar trying to spend his precious time begging money for food because thats the only ways and means according to him to get his life going.. probably the beggar's life is not a well-spend time because he was not productive making money for a better living..


TIME IS A PRECIOUS "FREE" GIFT from the LORD... even i considered TIME as a PRECIOUS DIAMOND that illuminates pure blessing to serve our purpose on this materialistic world. The moment we were born in this world, GOD already knows all about us (PSALM 139).. even the time when we are going to ruin our lives.. So when GOD allowed us to live our life, he also give us TIME (ECCLESIASTES 3)..

so then we will be given THE CHANCESSSSSS to realize, WHAT HAVE WE DONE WITH THE FREE GIFT OF TIME? Was it successful being a doctor? Did the doctor really served GOD's gift? I am sure, GOD will never let you become a beggar, so what have you done from the gift of Time? Did you make use of your given time to be productive and not just wait for GOD to provide for you?

as i constantly seek His wisdom.. i realized when GOD gives us a GIFT of abundance LIFE, He also gives us precious TIME to serve our purpose in this LIFE, and your purpose in this life must lead to HIS GLORY.. When time and life did not serve its purpose, its His will to take it away from you..

i will serve my purpose if every moment of my life can manifest GOD's glory..
i will serve my time productively if it will be used to minister the Word of GOD..

as i said, the time he has given us are gift of chances to serve our purpose. DID YOU HEAR HIM CALLING YOU? When GOD knocks at your door, did you open it from the heart and mind? or you open it because you need something to give you pleasure and uplift your status in the society? Did you open the door faithfully that you will accept any test of faith he will give you? because he will definitely test our faith for him to know if we are ready for His JUDGEMENT.

the hurdles of life such as bitterness, hurt, failure and other storms in our lives, are strong points to help us FOCUS on our purpose in life -- a simple purpose and that is to see the wonderful works of GOD'S GLORY.. and as one of HIS FAVORITE CREATION, WE must take care of His other gifts for our own sake.. and giving back HIS GLORY is as easy as praising and worshipping HIM.. as simple as seeking his righteousness which will not even harm you or others.. so what's in it with you that you cannot surrender yourself to your own CREATOR? and ask yourself, AFTER THIS LIFE and you know you will die soon, what do you think will happen when TIME of living runs out?

how loving is our CREATOR when HE give us CHANCES to live our LIFE and ENJOY OUR TIME on His CREATION too, the WORLD we live in right now..

ahhh.. time is really precious.. please do not let it slip away just like that.. He gives it to you.. He might also take it away from you.. so be ready my friend.. but i understand, how many times i also failed to open the door for HIM.. so when i finally opened it, i never look back.. i look forward and even excited to see what other gifts he can give me.. in the FREE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE..



i offer each and every moment of my TIME for Him and hopefully nothing is wasted.. i strive hard to be successful using my TIME now.. because i realized i already had the time of my life, when SIN are normal everyday.. wasted time for me now is when i did sinful thoughts and actions.. so why i waste it now when i finally see the TRUTH about THE TIME of my LIFE... and the time of my life is offered to GOD who has given me all these gifts even the gift of my PAST because ALL THOSE TIME AS SINFUL AS I WAS, GOD WAS WITH ME ALL ALONG.. Until HE FINALLY KNOCKED LIKE HE NEVER KNOCK MY DOOR BEFORE.. (now thats not a wasted time)

i rely now on GOD'S PERFECT TIMING and i know its all for my own well-being.. as i offer my time on earth for GOD, i will make use of HIS TIME faithfully..

USE YOUR TIME WISELY BY SERVING YOUR PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD.

Revelation 21:3-7 And I heard a great voice out of the heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." And He that sat upon the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said unto me, "Write: for these words are true and faithful." And He said unto me, "It is done. I am Alpha nd Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that thirsts of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcomes shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be My son."

Because I asked the Lord for SAMUEL

one "quiet time with GOD", he led me to the book of 1 SAMUEL. whenever I have been privileged to have an "appointment" with Father GOD, i always ask what he wants me to understand from reading the Holy Scriptures.. or humbly ask Him for an answer to one of my prayer request.. thats how you get to have a close-encounter with GOD that it wouldnt even frighten you when he answer you back but the amazing thought of His Holy Spirit is within your grasp.. is just illuminating.. it just uplift my ignorance of His Glory.. it even brings me back to the TIME when it happened... truly amazing gift from GOD..

So I asked him to bring enlightenment for my prayer request of having another CHILD.. For me and my husband, this is one blessing that will add up to our life however I honor GOD's plan for our marriage so I tend to feel a little bit hesitant to ask FATHER GOD about this.. Anyway, GOD ANSWERED.. oh well he answered from revealing to me the book of SAMUEL.. I started reading SAMUEL after Ive read Ruth and learning Ruth's tremendously love for her husband by showing faithfulness and care for her mother-in-law.. so at that instance, I praised GOD aloud for revealing me the courage of RUTH which I tend to accomplish for my husband.. even if my mother in law is in GOD's care, I realized I will also meet her someday..

so I moved on reading and turned the pages the book next to RUTH which is SAMUEL, i promise to you that it was only on that night I learned about SAMUEL... Hannah's powerful prayer of asking the LORD to have a child with his husband was one of the highlights of my quiet time.. (I REALIZED THAT I WAS HANNAH).. and prayer answered indeed by giving her, SAMUEL, which means "because I asked the Lord for him" (1Samuel 1:20).. (SAMUEL IS ONE OF THE CHOSEN PEOPLE OF GOD THAT HAS NEVER FAILED TO PLEASE HIM.. ONE OF THE MOST FAITHFUL SERVANTS OF GOD IN THE BIBLE)

soooooo i believe.. amazingly i believe that my prayer too is answered.. I CLAIM the prayer has been answered... oh it was such a joy inside me that i couldnt understand.. if this is what GOD wants me to understand at that precious time with HIM then I CLAIM IT.. oh how i thank HIM for blessing me with such joy i thought will NEVER EVER happen to me..

My good-hearted blessing from GOD, ROB, my husband, always telling me that we are going to have a boy.. if I ask him how he knew, he would just say HE JUST KNEW..

Hannah has kept her promise to pursue SAMUEL as a faithful servant of GOD so she brought Samuel to the HOUSE OF ELI.. Eli was the priest in Israel that time however he was punished for he has not much committed to serve the LORD.. Eli disobedience has displeased the LORD and so FATHER GOD has chosen SAMUEL to be the next most important priest of ISRAEL that time.. see how amazingly my "SON" is going to become.. later on the loving story of SAMUEL would mention that he was the one who annointed King Saul and King David... David the descendant of Jesus Christ.. How gifted Samuel has become?

who wouldnt want your child to be a loving n faithful servant of FATHER GOD.. I will definitely do the same promise of HANNAH.. isnt it extra-AMAZING.. I humbly ask GOD's hand on this.. it gives me an overflowing joy if my son will become the same as Samuel.

so I thought:

Father God, i praise you for this revelation. I claim that your answer to my prayer of having another child will prove that truly you are GOD of all-knowing. I surrender my worries if I will have another child or not. I honor your promise to make me a better person and whatever you give me, I believe that it is for my BEST.. As Hannah did it, I can deliver my child to you and he will be another faithful servant in our family. Father God, YOU HAVE NEVER FAILED TO AMAZE ME.. that is why I continue to strive harder and become pure in thoughts and loving in words, in order to prove to you that whatever blessings you will give me, will only manifest that i truly deserve such gift. Forgive me father if i show anything that displeases you. The quiet time with you, FATHER GOD has truly changed my thoughts, changed my hope.. and everyday of seeking for your GLORY, it has continue to amaze me with different learnings.. different wisdom.. but all leads to your POWERFUL GLORY AND LOVING MERCY.. THANK YOU lord.. I pray and humbly asked this through the MOST PRECIOUS NAME OF JESUS CHRIST.. AMEN..

In the meantime, I wait for your coming my child and for the fulfillment of GOD's hand on this.. ALL GLORY TO GOD..

1 Samuel 2

(part of) Hannah's Prayer

1 Then Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the LORD;
in the LORD my horn [a] is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.
2 "There is no one holy [b] like the LORD;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

GOD's hand on Aquino and the people of the Philippines

Today marks another historical event of my homeland and the beautiful, PHILIPPINES. I cry out with a simple prayer for the 15TH President of the Philippines, President-elect Benigno Aquino III or noy noy..

Father God, as we honor your presence for the proclamation of our newly-elected President Noynoy Aquino, we humbly ask for you to bless him with love, integrity, wisdom, courage, faithfulness and humility. Our country has already been hurt several times and has been taken advantage with a lot of traditional politicians and corrupted officials. My fellow countrymen should now be given the chance to regain its glory for we have seen a lot of curses of poverty: prostitution, unemployment, family dysfunction, murder, skimming or stealing, and the likes. Father God, have mercy on my country... Have mercy to my fellow filipinos who inspite of working hard has never been the chance to uplift their daily lives.. I humbly cry out for your mercy lord to put your hand on our President-elect Noynoy as we start to renew our hope and spirit for the transformation of our country. Transformation to change and lift up the curses of evilness in our government, curses of poverty, curses of timidity to fellow filipinos who just lost hope to do what is right... With your powerful grace and merciful heart, i humbly ask you to remove this curses and let us renew the spirit of my fellow filipinos so we can have a better country for the next generation. With all your strength and power Father God, we are in no comparison to you so we would like to honor your loving presence in our dying country.. Just like what you did to your promise to the Israelites when you saved them from the Egyptians, we have seen your power Father God and you have hardened the heart of the Pharaoh so your chosen people can glorify you Lord.. Me and my fellow filipinos, Father God, have seen the pain of our fellow countrymen and have seen your power and glory that without YOU, our country will never experience change from our newly elected President. Thats why on behalf of my countrymen, as we are all tired of the promises of the politicians, may YOUR HAND touch their hearts and make them FEAR YOUR POWER AND STRENGTH to lead them into righteousness. For me and all the filipinos around the world, Have mercy on us to allow our hearts be filled with your Holy Spirit in order regain our spirit and hope for a better country through your Glory and power. that you will reveal to us the virtue of humility to follow our authority and lead us not to sinful desires that will lead our country again to shame... We humbly ask this through the mighty name of Jesus Christ.. Amen..

If most of the filipinos has lost its hope that our country will still transform and renew our glory, i humbly ask GOD's presence and in my heart, i know GOD WILL MAKE A WAY for my country... any possibility still exist with HIS POWER..

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today