My second..

it gives me joy whenever i look at baby pictures.. their chuby cheeks, loving eyes, sweet smiles that shows their innocence.. even i love to hear baby's laugh and i can stay all day in youtube.com listening to the sound of their voice, giggles and naughty little acts..

in 2000 before millenium Y2K was celebrated by everyone i was having a nervous breakdown.. i have taken away the joy of my little one and did not welcome her to be brought on this earth.. my first was supposedly a perfect joy.. but that was a mistake that has been forgiven.. even will continue to be a lesson learned until i die..

now 2010, as hope and chances are given by GOD to any human being on this earth.. i got married to a loving man.. so now is the perfect chance to wait patiently for "my second".. not only because i am ready to become a mom but also it is my loving gift to my loving husband.. in my heart i know i can cover up with the losses with my first.. and my second will give me the hope that my first has been taken care of.. by my saviour, JESUS CHRIST..

my second, will now welcome you in my arms and when that day comes, i will make sure you will experience the same love and respect which my first one also deserves..

thanking you Lord for this privilege.. if its not your will, Lord, then we are also ready to love any other child for your glory..

for the meantime, let GOD prepare you for your coming as He has chosen you to be our loving SECOND.. so by His GRACE and perfect timing, me and your dad are preparing for your arrival..

in His loving mercy and grace, we will see you soon my love..

MORNING PRAISES

FATHER GOD, as always, it is an amazing day and eventough I woke up 11 in the morning, the first thing that came into my mind is PRAISING YOU.. The service of Pastor Peter Tan-chi mentioned there is nothing like worshipping GOD from the heart and as I always ask you to come into my heart, this is my morning praise from the heart:

THANK YOU FATHER FOR THE BLESSING EACH DAY THE SUN RISES...
THE MORNINGS THAT ALWAYS FILLED MY HEART WITH HOPE..
HOPE THAT ANOTHER DAY HAS COME TO SERVE YOU..
HOPE THAT ANOTHER DAY HAS COME TO SHOW MY FAITHFUL LOVE TO YOU ABOVE ELSE..
AND I WOULD RECALL IF I HAVE DONE THINGS TO HURT YOU YESTERDAY..
THE HOPE THAT GIVES ME ANOTHER DAY TO BRING YOU ANOTHER SOUL TO MAKE IT RIGHT..
THE HOPE THAT MY LOVED ONES, ESPECIALLY MY HUSBAND AND MY MOTHER, WILL REALIZE THROUGH YOUR GRACE THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE.. SO THERE IS HOPE ON THEM TO JOIN ME IN PRAISING YOU SOMEDAY..
AND THE HOPE TO WITNESS THE TRANSFORMATION AND PROGRESS OF MY COUNTRY (PHILIPPINES) BY YOUR GRACE TO TAKE AWAY THE CURSE OF POVERTY, CORRUPTION AND CHILD PROSTITUTION.. AND OTHER THINGS LORD GOD, LET ME WITNESS EACH DAY THAT FILIPINO CHILDREN WILL BE TOUCHED BY YOUR POWER THAT THEY WILL BECOME THE NEXT GENERATION YOU WANT THEM TO BE..
THE HOPE EACH DAY YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER DAY ON THIS EARTH, TO WITNESS THE TRANSFORMATION OF PEOPLE'S LIVES YOU'VE TOUCHED.. AND BY YOUR MERCY AND
POWERFUL GRACE, TO TOUCH MY LIFE THAT I MAY ALWAYS HAVE A PATIENT HEART,
AND WISDOM TO UNDERSTAND THE THINGS YOU WANT ME TO KNOW..

THANK YOU.. THANK YOU FOR THIS PRIVELEGE OF WANTING TO BE WITH YOU AND BE
A LIVING INSTRUMENT OF YOUR LOVE TO MANKIND..

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MERCY, YOUR FAITHFULNESS AND YOUR FORGIVENESS TO MY UNGRATEFULNESS WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT TRIED TO COUNSEL ME WITH CHRIST-LIKE WAYS..

THANK YOU FOR THE HOPE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME TODAY.. AND IF I WILL BE GIVEN ANOTHER
PRIVELEGE TOMORROW.. THANKING YOU IN ADVANCE.. AS YOU WOULD BLESS ME EACH DAY I WAKE UP, I WANT TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS..

THRU THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, AMEN..

Luke 22:42 HCSB
“…not My will, but Yours, be done.”

Colossians 1:11-12 NRSV
may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light.

Psalm 19:14 HCSB
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable to You,
Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

Psalms 86:11 HCSB
Teach me Your way, Lord,
and I will live by Your truth.
Give me an undivided mind to fear Your name.

Luke 9:23 HCSB
If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

HEALING and the SPIRITUAL WARFARE i am into..

Ironically, our body reacts to the wrong doings we did to our body. If we dont take care of our body, we need a doctor to help us get back on our normal healthy body. Or probability, you take care of your body by eating well, physical activities like exercise, google for home remedies, etc. etc.. because once there is pain or hurt, you just want to take it away by doing anything just to ease the pain..

Does it work the same when our spirit or faith need healing? Ironically too, our faith reacts to the wrong doings we did to our FAITH. If we dont take care of our spirit and faith, our pathway will never be the same as we have a normal and healthy spirit or faith.. (same as our physical body)

Our issues in life are manifested when we lose our SPIRIT.. then later worst than that, we lose our FAITH to something inspirational, sometihng far better than good... and issues in life is far worst to handle than our physical body. When we lose our spirit and faith, it leads to issues that are unmanageable and disturbing.

One of my issues is anger management. Sometimes it leads me to hurting people I love and cared for, and more often than not, it hurts me more when I hurt people, and the worst part of it, im hurting my own saviour, JESUS CHRIST. :( Eversince I discovered his undying love for my sins, it really worries me to make him feel sad about my shortcomings. Im seriously working on my patience and even a simple anger, i want to get healed.. and I know it takes a process to do this, my willingness is ther to compensate the hurt I have given to Jesus.

I have stayed away with most of the dreadful sins Ive got and the issues of my life has been straight.. in some other days, its not. The recurrent manifestation of these issues really makes me wonder if I am worthy of His love. My friend clearly defines this as a SPIRITUAL WARFARE. Though I am not afraid, but I need to get ready of any warfare there should be... and this is only through healing.

Healing my heart.. healing my mind.. healing my soul.. healing my past so that I may forgive the things that was done and may never haunt me again.. that I may have wisdom to understand the things that GOD is showing me... that it may drive me to stay away with the usual (sinful) things Ive been doing.. that it may keep me from harming people.. and it may keep me away from hurting my saviour, JESUS.

If this spiritual warfare that I need to face and get rid of.. then so be it.. My love for CHRIST is as undying as His love for me... Though I am powerless at times, but I will do beyond the things I can, just to heal me. and its only THRU JESUS CHRIST and by His HOLY GRACE, HE will heal me on this..

Lord, CONSUME ME with your patient heart, unconditional love and strength.. please take away the ANGER (even simple anger inside me) so I can clearly see and understand what the other people's lacking, that just like you, you will patiently be aware of other people's need and understanding. and from this understanding, I may be able to speak clearly of my CHRIST-LIKE intention on my brothers and sister in this earth. More importantly, I want you to judge me when i finally see you in person, for being your child who attains to be like you and fulfilling my purpose on this eart to be of service to you by being a living instrument of your LOVE.. Forgive me Lord Jesus for falling short of your glory and I acknowlege your powerful hand on me, to take away the unnecessary issues on my life right now.. I thank you for the Holy Spirit when it helps me to have the courage to fight my spiritual warfare.. Lord, I humbly asked you to intervene on this painful hurt inside me so that I can continuously love and serve you mightily.. You alone is the source of the answer to my questions in life.. and now, you are the source of the power to help me go through my spiritual warfare right now.. I asked this through the MOST PRECIOUS NAME OF JESUS.. Amen.

JAMES 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

MATTHEW 5: 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.

PRAYER - JUST DO IT!!

"Why be persistent? How come my answers sometimes don't come immediately? Why should I keep on praying when the answer doesn't come in my time table?"

Keep on praying when there's no answer, because persistent praying helps me focus on God. God wants me to remember that He alone is the source of my answers to prayer. The Bible says in Philippians 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

God wants us to see Him alone as the source of our needs. When we have to pray about something over and over, who do we look to? We look to the Lord. Persistent prayer focuses our attention. Have you discovered that we like to look to everybody else to solve our problem except the Lord? We look to our friends, we look to our family, we look to counselors, we look to the government, we look to anybody -- except the Lord. God often delays an answer to force you to focus on Him.

Persistent praying also clarifies my requests. A delayed answer a lot of times gives me time to clarify what do I really want. Time separates deep longings from mere whims. I've prayed for things and sometimes during the delay decided I didn't really want them after all.

God delays the answer to test you. It's not that He doesn't want to give it to you, He wants to know if you really want it. Do you want it enough to keep praying? Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart." Nothing worthwhile is accomplished with half-hearted prayers.




Persistent prayer will prepare me for the answer. God usually wants to do more than you are praying for. Surprise! God wants to do it greater and He needs time to get you ready for it. There are changes God wants to make in you. Ephesians 3:20 "Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us, is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes."

People say, "Prayer changes things." Of course we know it is God who does the changing. But prayer changes you. And God is more interested in you than He is in circumstances. Often as soon as you've made the change in your life the doors of heaven open and the answer comes. Expect a miracle.

Persistent praying strengthens and develops your faith. A mark of maturity is how long can you wait. Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." God’s saying, "Hang on! Be patient! The harvest is coming. Don't give up! Look up!"

We want to encourage you to take time daily focusing on God, reading His word and talking to Him. We liken this to dating, in which we spend time with someone to get to know them better, to learn more about her/him. Likewise, we spend time with God daily to know Him better.


- rick warren's purpose driven life website - article..

ROBERT JOHN PADDOCK, a miracle of GOD's love

I wonder if I would have the same faith if I dont have my husband in my life, Mr. Robert John Paddock.. Perhaps not or probably, yes.. but what I know, GOD works perfectly in His own mysterious ways. So, the burning desire of knowing GOD is my way of praising THE ONE who has made it all possible. He is my miracle from GOD.. my miracle of LOVE..

Why impossible? because I met him through an internet site.. I was very much brokenhearted and trusting someone you met in an internet site was absurd.. However, he was sooo sure of me. I would always question him for being so sure that we belong together so I would always wonder what made him so sure. Then he came to see me in Dubai to prove how sure he was.. He would always describe to me through our chatting that He has never been so sure about something and it never felt so right..

I went through a lot of patches while i was trying to know him.. even tried to PUSHED ROB away in my SO-CALLED LIFE then.. but one thing that made me realized that HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.. he has showed me an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away.


I was surprised how ROB has showed me his passion to have me as his wife, almost exactly as the passage describe.

IT WAS ALL PERFECT TIMING OF GOD.. me and rob were both mending a broken heart - both from our past loves and even our faith to GOD.

I always knew that there is SOMEONE who is destined to love me.. but i never knew it was this AMAZING..

Until then GOD'S love never ceases to amaze me.. never doubt GOD'S MIRACLE WAYS of getting my attention.. it was more of GOD's love to me that made me realize that i need to love ROB more. I believed that GOD has finally tuned in to my prayers so he has given ROB to fulfill my dreams. However as I always have gratitude to people I owe, I realized I owe GOD big time now. So he truly got my attention.

I finally found the real meaning of my life, not through ROBERT JOHN PADDOCK, but through JESUS CHRIST, my savior because of his undying love for me and promised me an eternal life.



Because of FAITH, I married him... FAITH TO JESUS' love and faith that ROB's love to me is the same of JESUS.. so I did not doubt when ROB asked me to marry him only after 6 months of chatting and knowing each other...

Robert's perseverance to have me as his wife paid of, and at the same time, i realized JESUS' love and perseverance to bring me back as a child of GOD has also paid of..

Robert has forgiven my past and loving me the same as I have not committed any sins to him. AMAZINGLY, I realized now that it was the same as GOD loves me.

SO I GIVE BACK ALL THE GLORY TO GOD.. until then I NEVER LOOK BACK, I committed to DEVOTE MY TIME AND EFFORT TO GOD'S GLORY, by following JESUS CHRIST ways and by loving my husband, ROB...

ROB belongs to CHURCH OF ENGLAND but never a devoted follower. However, as he believe on the same way that it was all the works of GOD who has made it possible for us to be united (millions of women are there to find a husband on the internet), PRAISE GOD that he is now PRAYING and HONORING GOD's works in our lives as a married couple.. I told one friend this morning that truly GOD has planned all of this things that is happening in my life. he has given me a husband who is very loving and very understanding, so that when I finally choose to believe in CHRIST, I will never get lost again.

so its no longer US, but with JESUS CHIST AS THE CENTER OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, we will forever be grateful for GOD's GLORY.. and no more pain in the past or our future will always bother us... because from the start, we honor GOD'S GLORY in our lives.. and until the end of times..

an angel in disguished

Not so sure if its my business or not, but TSINA at the age of 28, still does not know how to cook?

Remembering our Dubai days together, we spent few months in the same rented house and spent hours chatting about life.. of course, she's one of those who introduce me to WENTWORTH MILLER, the star of Prison Break. It was at the hype of the first season, and we finished watching the borrowed DVD for 2 days i think or less.. We parted being housemates when her brother came to DUBAI, but it started an amazing friendship even if we dont see each other.. However.. I dont remember her cooking anything.. hmmm..

An amazing turnout of events, she decided to go back to Manila for good.. Respecting her boundaries, she promised to stay in contact.. Of course, with networking sites, and even blogger sites, she's everywhere. One time I asked her to register in a networking site where i met my husband, she immediately answered that theres no need coz she had 5 networking sites that time.

To make this blog shorter and the story even shorter.. we continue to stay in contact while i was a struggling OFW in Dubai.. Until a blessing of marriage has been finally revealed to me by GOD came as a surprise to all my friends, including tsina... Me and my husband decided to celebrate our union in MANILA and who else is there to support me with all the brouhaha, TSINA..

JANUARY of 2010 when she finally invited me in her newly found HOUSE OF WORSHIP, the Christ Commission Fellowship. As I have been always a believer of her taste, I immediately develop my faithfulness with the church. so we are again HOUSEMATES.. but now for the WORSHIP HOUSE OF GOD.. our felloship church, CCF.. guess, that is just meant to be...

As I developed my faith and journey with my walk with JESUS CHRIST, her usual unselfish act with me was to share a MINISTRY which she felt was her calling. A ministry called GLORIOUS HOPE.. ministering our brothers and sisters with HUHAHA.. short for habits, hang up and other one i really cant remember.. but its a ministry in helping people overcomsing their struggles in life.. people who are depressed, addicted or abused...

Finally, we both realized that the program we attended today was not just a ministry that we wanted to get active with, but the program that will also UNLEASH OUR HABITS, HANG UP.. and the other H, i dont remember.. sorry..

Fortunately, CCF believes that there are a lot of issues in our lives that will influence our relationship with GOD. ISSUES that continous to manifect as a recurrent sins.... so thats why, we both humbly admitted.

TODAY, I felt I owe her a very exciting part of my journey with CHRIST. She has shared with me a MINISTRY that is more than enough to help me HEAL, and most especially develop my SPIRITUALITY to sustain my FAITH with LORD JESUS CHRIST. that I think is just the most precious gift i have ever received...

THANK YOU TSINA.. FOR BEING A HOUSEMATE IN CHRIST and a loving friend who shared her weaknesses but also her forgiveness in the realities of LIFE.. an UNSELFISH ACT of introducing me to my BURNING FIRE FAITH as she fondly say to me.. without her unselfishness, i would have not felt this desire to be with JESUS if I did not have CCF to back me up.. and i thank her for this unselfishness..

I did not realized that SHE IS ONE OF MY ANGEL on EARTH.. I never experienced any problems with her since I met her - worked with her as well as a receptionist in Dubai Airport Hotel.. has never judge me for any of my mistakes.. UNSELFISH as she is to everyone, she has immediately shared with me all her blessings - CCF and GLORIOUS HOPE..

and after knowing her 5 years, I ddnt realize that SHE IS A GOOD COOK.. I have in mind to call her ANGEL, she cooked for me a very tasty MUSTARD SAUCED - CHICKEN WINGS.. (i dont know what she calls it).. GALENG MO TALAGA LORD, even in FOOD you amazed me and TSINA with your undying LOVE for us..

to GOD BE ALL THE GLORY..

MASK of a Faith Discipler

I have heard once that FAITH is a choice... wonder what happens to FAITH healers.. have you encountered a FAITH healer that doesnt have a faith? does that mean only by having faith, a person can just heal?

If i follow what I learned since i was a child.. me and my siblings were taught to have FAITH in ourselves because we are the only one who can protect ourselves from kids who might bully us. Mom said not to return back home crying without protecting ourselves... So i always wear this mask on my face that would pretend im stronger than anybody else, so luckily, i wasnt bullied... Then when i grew up, i still wore that mask that would make my friends believe that im strong.. and I had faith in myself.

Faith to believe that I can do what my heart desire.. so after studying, i ddnt become a doctor coz i studied a course where most of my friends are because i have so much faith in myself that I do not need a degree that will help me in the future... I had more faith with my friends more than anything that can help my future.

So job experienced didnt stop me from using the mask i remembered i should keep on using to gain approval, interest and attention from peers, colleagues and from BULLIES that i may encounter... From the numerous careers i had, more acquaintances and more cicle of friends added to my list of people who had an impression that I am frontliner and a public speaker... and Ive used that mask to cover up the flaws.. From the mask that i used when i was a child, did not cover only my fears, but also frustrations and pains of shameful acts... the mask that expressed more of my cover up.. the strongholds of the wrong interpretation of FAITH AT ONES SELF.. conceitedness, vanity, arrogance, envy and more.. in short, a LOSER..

After 36 years, there was someone who had knew that it was there all along.. Almost a stranger to me, He has seen too much of the mask that He wanted to take it out from me.. Maybe He had a hard time at first, because this mask has given me too much comfort... the comfort i believed was the only cure to keep my sanity in this world..

Lord Jesus has found my cover up.. He has unleased the mask and after that happened, i could see that a face shouldnt be worn with cover up.. I felt that it should have been as natural as you were just been born... hmmm... I have been born again..

Holy is the Lord who has revealed my purpose and now the MASK has never been worn.. In fact, the loving peers admitted of not wanting to have the mask unleash...Too selfish to believe that I still need my MASK to acquire their approval, interest and attention... anyway, they said, these are the people who love me for who i was..

My FAITH? Faith has also been unleashed.. because it has been covered with more FAITH of JESUS LOVE AND MERCIFUL GLORY.. the faith of ones self has been simply changed to FAITH to JESUS.. It is no longer I, but JESUS CHRIST (Galatians).

With God's promise as written in John 3:16, Jesus has revealed that if i follow this FAITH with HIM, I do not need to work long hours and keep on changing careers.. the rewards of my TRUE FAITH will give me this experience beyond imagination.. as he gives his LIFE to us, JESUS CHRIST is the only TRUE FAITH HEALER...

And so, I choose to be in this FAITH.. without a mask.. all natural and no-approval fee from peers... no healing needed, immediate HEALTHY BOOSTER of LIFE.. and this choice has made miracles without hurting the people i care and love.. and a career he might give me for FREE without going back to school.. ive always wanted, to become a DOCTOR (PEDIATRICIAN)..

the strongholds has become weak with the kind of FAITH with LORD JESUS.. no longer a LOSER inside me but a HEALTHY SOUL who is struggling to become a better person..




Now i begin a new life with this FAITH with LORD JESUS... I still need the peers ive always depend on, however no longer needs their approval and interest, I depend on the destiny that GOD has revealed to me.. As Jesus fulfilled his duty on earth.. He was a discipler of FAITH, I decided to truly follow His calling.. I decided to become a FAITH DISCIPLER like HIM and by his GRACE, he will use me to become an instrument of showing the purposes of their lives..

Let this leap of faith show how an all-natural mask free life could unleash the shameful ways of SINS.. to GOD be all the GLORY..